Pat Metheny - Zero Tolerance For Silence

I recently came across a band that I thought was called "Goatheny"; so naturally, visions of a black metal version of Pat Metheny came swirling into my head!! Unfortunately, the band turned out to be called Goathe"M"y and was not too good at all....this led me to remembering Zero Tolerance 4 Silence, quite the odd little gem in Mr. Metheny's discography. Zero Tolerance is a free jazz shred extravaganza...Pat breaking all his own rules and making a hideous wall of noise that will send even the most adventurous jazzheads running for their Charles Mingus records. Like a Black Legions rehearsal tape randomly spliced together with Brown Jenkins and Mick Barr's Orthrelm project...Kult as a heart-attak.

Zero Tolerance

Red Foxx - Sly Sex

Oh Mr. Foxx you raunchy old devil...I wiiiish I coulda been in the crowd for this recording. It sounds like so much fun!! All the hootin' and hollerin' and cat-calls. Old Red barely has time to get to the punchline before people start laughing their asses off and falling out of their chairs...and I for sure would be doing the exact same thing cuz this is fucking hilarious material that holds up to todays standards. Let's just say it's my type of humor...working blue.

Sly Sexx

Taake - Noregs Vaapen

A new Taake out boys and girls, and I for one couldn't be more thrilled! I've been a fan of all the Taake albums, but their last one left me a little bit cold...it had some great moments (Motpol is just an outrageously good song), but overall it wasn't as captivating compared to earlier work. Well, that is fixed in spades on this new one! Mainman Hoest must've went back under that Bodhi tree cuz there are some delicious riffs flying about; Myr even features a good old fashioned hootenanny hoedown!! The whole album is filled with a kind of "down on the farm" atmosphere...I don't know quite how else to put it. Noregs Vaapen has certainly redeemed Taake in my eyes, even if Herr Hoest is responsible for one of the most shameful moments in heavy metal history.

Of course I speak of his very literal interpretation of "to rock out with your cock out". I for one do not wish to propogate this nasty stereotype of the pencil-dicked black metal musician, but one cannot whitewash over such events. We can only hope that Hoest spends his Taake "f-you" money on a sturdier set of denims.

Noregs Vaapen

Sadastor - Herald Of Confusion

More confounding Frenchie self-described "crimson" metal. Unleashed in '98, HOC does exactly what it's title promises. Nullifying any sort of bottom end for an Alpine tone (not unlike Impaled Nazarene's Tol Cormpt Norz Norz Norz). Regal melodies soar amidst pitter-pat drum programming only to dissolve into beautifully lush acoustic passages augmented by echoed keyboard plinking. The more I listen to this, the more I'm convinced this is the black metal version Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells. An underground classick of avant-garde ambient metal.

Herald Of Confusion

Iron Fist - Metal Ages

Hard to believe it's been one year since I started this blog. It has been a blast so far and I plan to continue it as long as heavy metal flows through my veins. In celebration, I'm revisiting my inaugural post...the almighty Iron Fist!!
I still maintain that this is the prettiest feather in Barbarud and Blasphemer's cap...and I definitely agree with Barbarud's lyrics..."keyboards were good for disco only, female voices for choirs holy, so what should do real Metal chick? To drink beer and suck some Metal dick"...
He and I share the ideal woman apparently..."Long blonde hair, and long long legs, thin as string, with melon tits, leather jacket, torn blue jeans, spiky waist and bracelets"...
And finally, I can only concur with Mr. Barbarud on the sad states of metal (and the world in general)..."I stayed the same for many many years, but the world is running like runaway horse, Metal music changed a lot, new trend hippie bands stir up my wrath, no today's band plays music that was called Metal in glorious past and what they call Metal now, I call it shit, I call it fuckin' shit"...can I get an AMEN over here!!!

Little Babygarten Queen

Cythrawl - Ar Karv Du

Rabidly technical Frenchie black metal that conceives mind-boggling complex epics out of confusing (but addicting) song fragments...everything is insane trem-picked to the nines and willing to sacrifice any shred of normalcy for tear your throat out vitality. The star of this freakshow is the drummer, who flays down a serious battering-ram of hyperkinetic damage on the skins. This guy is all over the kit guiding the songs much in the way Proscriptor takes control during Absu's breakneck thrash-attacks (or for that matter the way a Rich or Krupa would lead their respective bands). Monumental black metal spawned in the most unorthodox fashion possible.

Ar Karv Du

Formloff - Adjø Silo

Surreal Nordic metal that'll have your toes tapping and your dog's barking (especially during Vaskebjoernen A.l.e.k.s.). Imagine Sculptured's back-catalogue being remixed by that Cornelius mutherfucker from Solefald...real fun stuff!!

Pup'n'fresh

Any Which Way You Can OST

Just listen to the Clint/Ray duet...if you can actually withstand that, then you're a heartier soul than I. Haha, seriously this is an awesome flick and the soundtrack is as calm and relaxing as a bare knuckle brawl from one end of town to the other. And if you haven't seen this movie yet, drop everything and watch the goddamn thing, but make sure you watch Any Which Way But Loose first. Otherwise you'll be completely lost.

Any Which Way You Can

Judas Iscariot - Heaven In Flames

One of the truest bastions of U.S. black metal perfection was Andrew Harris aka Akhenaten of Judas Iscariot. He may not have been the best musician, certainly not the best drummer, but he could pen some awesome songs. Raw, hateful, melancholic and at times even joyful. Not too many bands (let alone one man deals) can make a song as punishing as Before A Circle of Darkness then turn right around and blow everyone away with the dolorously-appregiated masterpiece From Hateful Visions...phenomenal.

Heaven In Flames

502 - Viral Deity

Today is Labor Day, a day when we all can kick back, sip a tall frosty cold one, and listen to some raw black metal!! 502 (named after the Marduk song I'm guessing) is raw no doubt, but it's also pretty horrible. In fact, I must admit that my posting this on Labor Day is a bit ironic because it is such a fucking chore to get through the whole album...Recorded in anno 2002 by Russ, Clint and Shauwan, Viral Deity is a Von/Ildjarn worshipping smess of the highest order. For those that persevere, a most wonderful prize awaits at the end. If you can stomach it all the way through, you will be rewarded with the most retarded cover of Blitzkrieg Bop ever!!
So inexcusably terrible that it's almost brilliant in it's awfulness...almost.

Viral Deity

Eryops - Banlieue M / Identité

This is some wonderfully obscure ballsout ballistic mid-80's speed metal from France.

Banlieue M / Identite