Countess - The Wolves Awake

Happy Hallowieners everybody!  It seems appropriate to end Dutchfest on Halloween and with the very first Countess demo.  It's been a blaast hanging with the Dutch, and I've learned alot.  Hope you have too.

Trick or Treat?

Vault - No More Escape

Dear God, how the fuck have I never heard of this band before?  I'm reminded of the first time I heard Manilla Road, the first time I heard Root!  I just feel instantly at home with this band's sound.  Their lone album from '83 shows that Dutch metal was in fine form even during it's beginnings.  Also, what kind of dinosaur is that?  It looks like a triceratops, but it's missing the frill.

No More Escape

Hordes - Songs To Hall Up High

More Orlok for your ear pleasure.  This guy had so many projects going on in the early '90's it was pathetic.  This is much in the vein of Fallen Temple with the heavy Iron Butterfly vibe.  Ha, not really, but I'm surmising thats where Orlok's allegiances lie.

Songs To Hall Up High

Mandator - Perfect Progeny

Riff after bloody riff of pure uncut Dutch Thrash.  Mandator is Mandatory.  Go ahead and take a bite.

Perfect Progeny

Sammath - Zwaardbroeders Bij De Bergengte

I love this demo, total lawn sprinkler drum machine to the point that the volume oscillates and fades for a hypnotic effect.....very strong songwriting and axework, typical Dutch keyboards.  All around excellent.

Zwaardbroeders Bij De Bergengte

Gauhaert - Ygwaet Gwyr Gwynn Novi

Raw Celtic Metal with even rawer crooned vocals.  Dare 2 B different!

Blood of Warriors

Delirium - Zzooouhh

The 3 "D's" triumph once again.  The Dutch are genetically programmed to play Doomy Death metal.  It's a fact, look it up.

Zzooouhh

Mystic Charm - Shadows of the Unknown

Dutch, Doom & Death.  The 3 D's that take you on the road to happiness.

Mystic Charms

V/A - Dutch Steel

A generous schmear of Dutch heavy metal to whet your appetite.

Dutch Steel

Fallen Temple - Hell's Realm

In the vein of 13 Candles....Awwww shit

The Temple is Broke

Belphegor - Daemonlatria

Demon shitting on a toilet bowl! Demon shitting on a toilet bowl!  And they got Scooby Doo to contribute guest vox.  Oooohhhh so Dutch!!

Daemonlatria

Paralysis - Arctic Sleep

Nifty tech-thrash featuring a vocalist who has a lot of pizazz.  I believe the correct term is caterwaulin'.  Get out your Reebok high tops cuz this is some athletic shit right here.

Arctic Sleep

Ayreon - Into The Electric Castle

A fuckin' 2 hour long space opera?  What could be more Dutch than that?

Into the Electric Castle Part I
Part Deux

Phlebotomized - Immense, Intense, Suspense

A very special death metal album....  Take the twisting amphibiousness of Demilich + the manifest bizarre doom of early Beyond Dawn and helice their base pairs 'round the primeval DNA of the laeureately strident goatherds of Akkad notorious for grooving it out in decrepit twilight grottoes.  Monstrous in it's energy and daunting in it's audacity, this one is well worth the effort.

Immense, Intense, Suspense

Focus - Moving Waves

I've been posting alot of filthy underground Dutch metal, but I'd be remiss if I didn't post some good ol' fashioned Dutch rock.   Focus was founded by Thijs van Leer in '69, a classically trained organist/flautist and yalper extraordinaire.  Unfortunately, Thijs is looking quite a bit like that fatass from Blues Traveller nowadays, but he's not letting that stop him.

Moving Waves

Nox - Ixaxaar

Brutal blasting, Belligerent bludgeoning, bygone brigands bearing bountiful bliss.  A real Dutch treat.

Ixaxaar

Usurper - Divine Spiritual And Intellectual Development

The Dutch are superior specimens, aren't they?  Wouldn't want to meet these guys in a dark alley...or a well-lit alley for that matter, sheeeesh.

Divine Spiritual and blah, blah, blah

Bhaobhan Sidhe - The New Order

Bestial Summoning warmachine serves up a real disgustable atmosphere.  Like Ildjarn on quaaludes.  Play this shit loud at your next midnight romp.

The New Order

Castle - Castle

Doooom from '94.  This was their only full length.  Some tasty riffs, low guttural growls, bluesy solos.  The keyboard work in The Emperor's Children is particularly choice.  This is what Doom was, is, and forever is meant to be.

Castle of Doom

Manitou - Nothing This Evil Will Ever Die

Another Orlok project from '93.  A heady year for Dutch metal it seems.  Orlok was really on his game on this one, almost pure rock'n'roll.  Strangely reminds me of Queens of the Stone Age...except the vocals of course.  Take me to the River of Blood is addicting!

Nothing This Evil Will Ever Die

Goddess of Desire - Symbol of Triumph

Heavily influenced by Manowar and Motorhead, throw a little GWAR in there too, these dudes and dudettes seem to camp it up to undermost.  Music's aight, but the red-head sure is a touch o'class.

Symbol of Triumph

Funeral WInds - Godslayer Xul

Some may call Funeral Winds generic, and as I've said before that is not a bad thing at all.  The more one listens to this album, the more one gets swept into the Xul cosmology.  Not Zeuhl like Magma, not Zuul like this guy

or Xul like this guy 

I tend to think of Xul more along the lines of this.

Godslayer Xul

Countess - Revenge of the Horned One Part II

For the next week or so its going to be Dutchfest.  Nothing but the best and brightest in Dutch heavy metal.  The Dutch have always put their wicked spin on everything they touch.  Dutch apple, Dutch rubs, Dutch oven, Dutch shoes.  Like their shoes, the Dutch Style is heavy, somewhat cumbersome, and more than a little awkward...which takes us to our first entry, Countess!
Countess is brainchild of one Orlok, responsible for the 13 Candles mindfuck.  This album was my first introduction to the man's work and it took a long time for me to warm up to it, but I did, and its become embedded in my musical consciousness ever since.  I'm so grateful to Part II for introducing me to Orlok's musical vision of old maid shrieking, chromatically cornball guitar leads and trad metal hooliganism.  Thanks Part II, Thanks.

Part II

Dana Dane - Dana Dane With Fame

Brooklyn born/bred Dana Dane dropped this bomb way back in '87.  Nightmares is the choice cut, man I've known chicks like that Donutita, she sounded like a real piece of work.  I hear she's really what blinded Slick Rick in that one eye.

Nightmares of the Night

Cult of the Lizard God - Blood Red Winter

Bow down before the lizard god he's come for you all!!!

Blood Red Winter

Deep Purple - In Rock

Deep Purple's Finest hour?  I think so, with classic cuts like Flight of the Rat, Livin' Wreck, and the epic Child In Time this is right up there at the top of Rock's Pantheon.

Spread the word around

Mütiilation - Black Millenium (Grimly Reborn)

Reminds me of an old Dennis Miller quip where he's asked by fundamentalist Christians to be "reborn" through Christ to which he replies "pardon me for getting it right the first time".  I can only imagine what being grimly reborn is like.  Baptism in goat blood?  Reenactment of the birthing process through a replica of Courtney Love's vag?  Gee, sounds grand.  To see how it affected Mutiilation main man Willy Roussel I never want to go through that process.  Mutherfucker's so crippled he's in a wheelchair AND wearing orthopedic boots.  He so blind he's got to hold a candelabra up to his face just to make out shapes.  Besides the obvious outlandishness, no one makes black metal like this guy.  By far and away my most favorite of the Les Legion Noires bands.

Grimely Reborn

Yes - Tormato

Yes, Tormato is a terrible pun with which to name an album.  Yes, it doesn't make one lick of sense.  Yes, Cheech & Chong totally ripped off Don't Kill the Whales to hilarious effect in Nice Dreams.  Is this a ridiculously splendid paragon of baroque-prog mellifluence?

Hell Yes

Auringon Paiste - Demo

Means sunshine in Finnish.  Methinks they were trying to be ironic.  If you like it obscure and hard to find, you found it.

Sunshine

Lungfish - Pass & Stow

A beguiling album from Balmer natives Lungfish.  This band is like a nice pair of loafers...perfect for every occasion.  

Pass & Stow

Black Funeral - Vampyr Throne of the Beast

Loose, evil, rabid an ready.  An absolutley terrorizing atmosphere permeates this record, making it quite unlike any other.  Definitely my fav black metal from the states and quite possibly of all time.

Rising from a dishonored grave

Lil B - Rain In England

Lil B (Beano, Beaner) has come outta nowhere and stolen my heart.  Prepare yourself for a journey through mind and space as B pontificates maculation of the soul from under the Elusive Bodhi tree's tender tendrils moistened by the sublime neutrinos of transcendence.

Lil B

Order of the Ebon Hand - The Mystic Path to the Netherworld

Hellenic Black Metal Maestros first album with strong keyboards and that warm Mediterranean sound.

Get on that Pegasus and ride my friend!

Pröhibition - Rehearsal 7/27/07

3 Cute Japanese... oh snap that was the last post.  Almost applies here, cuz we sure were adorable in our capes and light sabres.  I still have my pain train gloves, wish the same could be said for that snappy Limahl 'do.  One of our most fun rehearsals during the old Prohibition daze.

The Lady Wore White

eX-Girl - Endangered Species

3 Cute Japanese girls playing catchy as hell rock'n'roll.  What's not to like?

Endangered Species

Sacred Oath - A Crystal Vision

Serious doomy occult progressive thrash that doesn't loose sight of the most crucial element of any good thrash.  Havin' fun!  Combine gang shouts with an accomplished Don Doty style vocalist and creepy acoustic interludes filled with moaning chants and you have yourself a crystal clear recipe for success.

A Crystal Vision

Big Boss - Doomy Ballads

Doomy indeed, though filtered through a Dream Theatre's sense of technicality.  If Dream Theatre got rid of James LaBrie and brought in Big Boss to sing then they would really have something!  Somewhat reminiscent of the last Equirhodont album and worlds away from his last solo disc, Big Ba shows that he's not one to rest on his laurels.

Doomy Ballads

Paul Chain - Alkahest

One more item for the Italian trifecta.  The chocolate in the spamoni if you will, not the pistachio.  Alkahest is the epitome of SpookProg.  Doomy, esoteric, mournful, soulful... and heavy, plenty heavy.  For all his albums, Mr. Chain has devised his own language that seems to be phoenetic and mostly improvised, giving his vocals a lovely pure quality, not unlike Sesame Street on downers.  Speaking of sad muppets, Lee Dorian guests on one track.

Living Today

Ephel Duath - Phormula

Here's another Italian snausage for ya'll to stuff down your gullets.  I think ya remember this band, the one that wrote a concept album about dogs.  Well this is one of their earlier efforts and it is just as fucked up, if not more so.  Sounds like IX Equilibrium era Emperor on a serious Atheist bender in an amusement park run by homicidal trapeze artists.  Take one of these and don't fucking call me in the morning.

Phormula

Mortuary Drape - Tolling 13 Knell

More like Tolling 13 Hell!!  Damn these Italian esotericists can bottle up some black magick and sell it with gusto.  Dual bass attack, flashy guitar solos and that balmy Mediterranean riffing.  What more could you possibly axe for?

Tolling

Lamented Souls - The Origins Of Misery

Grade A Candlemass worship from a group of capable Norwegians, many of whom went on to play in bands of some notoriety.  Perfect for late night bong rips and doom dancin'.

Lamented Skoals

Fleetwood Mac - Tango In The Night

I'm not really sure why this band is ridiculed as much as they are... South Park rips on Stevie Nicks, SNL has a recurring skit where Lindsay Buckingham gets the perpetual shaft.  They don't deserve it, not one bit.  Fact is, Tango In The Night is a fiendishly great album.  The late '80s caught the Mac riding the glam rock coke wave into darker more gothic waters, and they were all the better for it.  Songs like Isn't It Midnight and Little Lies seethe with an emotional density heavier than leaded gold.  I've always thought that these songs possess certain qualities that would make for bizarrely fun heavy metal covers, especially in a black metal or doom context.  Thats a million dollar idea right there....  I got hooked on Tango In The Night when I was just a young'n, my pops played it constantly.  On the tapedeck in the van, on the record player at home... We would always sing along to "sweet little lies" and of course the incredibly ace chorus to Family Man.  Great memories and great tunes.   So, while I may label this a guilty pleasure,  it is still a pleasure pure and simple.  I guess thats called growing up Mr. Fleetwood.

Tango In The Night

13 Candles - Pilgrimage to the Gate of Sin

Is this music?  Is this for real?  Did I actually listen to this?

Take a Pilgrimage

Supuration - The Cube

A lot of disparate elements come together to make a really strange album that I can't get enough of.  The sound of grunge rock and progressive death metal literally melting over each other and seeping into every available orifice birthing an alien monstrosity thats not unlike Voivod circa Dimension Hatross.  Proceed with cares as this will fuck with your noodle.

The Cube

Kaviar Kavalier - Bukkake Express

Everybody's favorite skeevy perv returns, this time with a little help from some Hong Kong "escorts."  Just listen to Taxi nach Kairo and tell me its not the best song ever!  Fun!!

Bukkake Express