Saturday, January 10, 2015

Annual Airing of Grievances Anno 2014

End of year hate rants are pretty much the best part of doing a blog. Watch out for these turds.

Swans - To Be Kind  Another awful year in music another awful Swans recording. Swans seems to be everyones' and their great aunts' favor band to heap unending gushes of praise upon. Why this is? Don't ask me why. The emperor wear's no clothes? You betcha.
Opeth - Pale Communion  Oh my lord what do we have here, a nu Opeth that sucks yard upon yards of red hot balls yessirree. Take the emotion and charm out of one of Camel's lesser albums and you have this sort of toned down wanna be ELP bs.
Nachtmystium - The World We Left Behind  Bottom of the barrel attempt at catchy and anthemic black-like(lite) sludge metal. As empty sounding as a tapped out spike.
The Soft Pink Truth - Why Do the Heathen Rage?  Does this really still need to be a thing?? I think The Hard Mauve False are about 15 years late to the "lets do a piss-take of black metal" partay. At least it is easier on the ears than Impaled Northern Moonforest, but not quite up to Goat Thrower standards.
Mayhem - Esoteric Warfare Too over the top and theatrical, if I wanted to listen to some campy caterwaulin' I'd go watch Xanadu...the music's nothing to write home about either.
Massacre - Back From Beyond time to go back beyond Rozz and crew. This video sums it all up, what exactly is the joke?
Fallujah - The Flesh Prevails  yikes my precious eardrums are still recovering
Cynic - Kindly Bent To Free Us Some kind of no man's land between unchallenging prog-rock, AOR ambient excursions and the absolute lightest kind of metal that could still be called such. A big step down from Traced In Air and even Elves Beam Out which at least had some goofy charm to it.
Behemoth - The Satanist  Nergal with penis-horn growls about satan, how he is satan or whatever, dresses up like cirque de soleil satan and plays lots of fast boring riffs with fancy drumming.
Triptykon - Melana Chasmata
ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzžzzzŹŻzŻzzzzzzzzzzžžžźz.......ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzžzzzŹŻzŻzzzzzzzzzzžžžźzŻzŻzzzzzzzzzzžžžźz, a big old snoozefest. I haven't felt this tired after listening to an album since the time I dozed off and almost drove off the road listening to Hate Eternal's King of All Kings. Should at least come with a warning not to operate heavy machinery while listening, and a complimentary case of No-Doz and Red Bullz.
Heck, even Tom G Warrior admitted this wasn't very good, and I am more than inclined to agree.

also I haven't listened to Yob, Pallbearer, Indians, Mastodon, Thou, Godflesh, Sunn O))) but I'm sure that they're all awful.

1 comment:

  1. good list - including yob and pallbearer.